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My departure day is getting closer and closer and I’ve been thinking a lot about the people I will be leaving behind. Over the past month, weeks and days there have been final visits to friends in other parts of the UK, phone calls, last one-on-one meets for last one-to-one drinks and chats, emails flying about and Facebook chats left, right and centre. Not all of that has been prompted by the fact of me leaving, but some of it by a heavy dose of troubles that have been heaped on the heads of some of my closest and oldest friends.
It seems that just as I’m getting ready to leave, bird-happy and carefree, my oldest and closest friends are each, separately, having to deal with some of the hardest things they’ll probably ever have to deal with.
I had a lot of friends when I was a student in London, but there was one tight-knit, small group of very special friends. We did pretty much everything together. We’ve all stayed in touch to one degree or other, some years more contact, some years less. We all have busy lives, but we are all always there for each other. Over the years, they have scooped me up and dusted me down more than any other people I know; in my adult life at least.
They’ve helped me over ex-boyfriends, dragged me out of myself when I’ve become too navel-gazey, been sounding boards, let me vent my frustrations, put up with my absolutely horrific dark moods, shouted at me when I needed it; you name it, whatever crap I was in, they helped me sort it out. Whatever crap I was in back then is, quite frankly, nothing compared with what they’re going through now.
The exhausting struggle to breastfeed in early motherhood is soul destroying if it doesn’t come easily. Is it me, or is there far too much pressure on women to breastfeed? Fantastic if you can and you want to, but if not, it’s not the end of the world. A stress-free and happy mum is far more important, I’d have thought.
Divorce.
The illness of a close family member.
Breast cancer and chemotherapy.
Me? I’m fucking off round the continent.
How can all that happen to some of the people dearest to me, all at the same time?
I’ve only written three blog entries so far, but already it’s striking me as incredibly self-gratifying.
Me, me, me.
Me.
More me.
There’ll be time enough for me, me, me and more me over the coming months. This one’s for my incredibly brave friends who are dealing with far more than I’ve ever had to. Friends who I am so thankful to still be in touch with after so many years and after so much change in all our lives. Friends who I know will always be there for me no matter what and friends for whom I plan on being there forever, no matter how long ago we last spoke.
This, then, is for them – the close-knit group from my uni days and the other close friends who have always held me up.
Being my friend seems to involve a lot of being stupid, a lot of pulling daft faces and a fair bit of drinking a bit too much. I apologise in advance that I haven’t asked permission from all of you to post the pictures in this; if you want me to take any down just let me know and I will do, straight away. Why you’d want me to, though, is beyond me. Look at you lovely lot. You’re brilliant.
http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/
Tramping the Well Trodden Path 
Even without knowing there was a photo of me on there I had a tear (or three) in my eye! Its a tough decision to make and I can totally relate, but as so many people have said to me, you have to live your life and celebrate it. There will never be a right time to do what we are both doing as there will always be something going on whether that is friends or family and you know that you wouldn’t stop someone else leaving in a similar situation. I’m certain they know how you feel about them even without reading this blog. I started writing my ’emotional’ blog the other day, but haven’t managed to get to the end of it yet, its hard!
Must be even harder for you; I’m hopping across the channel while you’re going to the other side of the world. I’ll be back at some point, too, whereas you may not be, at least not to live. Will be worth it, though; you’ll have an amazing life out there x
Min, I just wanted to say how much I enjoy reading your blogs. Your compassion, humour, intelligence and a hundred other qualities its too early for my brain to think of shine through! I really, really hope you will write a book about all your adventures – it will knock Bill Bryson sideways!
Have a brilliant trip and I can’t wait to catch up with you at the wedding!! Love always Debs xx